Funny Quotes

Here are just a few funny quotes I found that I would like to share

• Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
• Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades- Demetri Martin
• A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion. "My wife dreams that in the mall."
• We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home. Gene Perret